The weirder copy that didn’t make the cut.
I’ll let it go when I let it go. 

Lawyers can be creative, too. The contract is our canvas.
Arbitration is our paintbrush.
This is getting off track and not drawing legitimate parallels.

We practice full transparency in our communication and billing, and in having an Instagram that our parents don’t understand.

Sure, we send emails with exclamation points and weird GIFs,
but there's also solid legal counsel in there.

Just a couple of lawyers with their hearts on their sleeves.
Teach a client to fish and not take shit from the IRS.
We do our shit differently and here’s some shit you can buy.

Why be gray when you can be heyyy 💁?

#1 dad in the game.
Just be thankful he's not Lavar Ball.
Dad just got easier to shop for.
Dad, the family hype man. 
Dad, the real 🐐.
Dad, your glue guy.
He wore them first. 

Dad WOD. Give Metcon this Father's Day.
Dad is intense. Give Metcon this Father's Day.
Tough love. Give Metcon this Father's Day.

Hot flash: Mother's Day is May 13.
It's knit, fam. Give Flyknit this Mother's Day.
No one can fill her shoes. 
Mom, the family playmaker.

Do you even lift, bra?

Endorphins are forever.

Let's be part of something bigger, blah, blah, blah.

You push the limits. We reset the limbs.
You inspire athletes. We rehabilitate them.
You revolutionize business. We revolutionize care.
You’re creative. We’re ... really good with data.

Everyone who needs care gets care— 
underdogs, overachievers, new parents, old pros, 
gym rats, jazzercisers, the fortunate and the vulnerable. 
All are welcome.

40% more people on the roads we have right now? What the 🔇?
Better bus lines, for when your paddleboard is in the shop.
Rapid growth is a challenge for any city—just ask Portland. ZING.
Not here to reinvent the wheel. Just the infrastructure.

Like the old saying goes, walk softly and carry a big insurance policy.

O Come All Ye VIPs

Go from "Oh 💩" to "Piece of 🍰" with ServiceNow.

Our freight carriers go the extra mile—but you know, not past the destination.
We sweat the details. And wear extra-strength antiperspirant.
We have a backup plan for our backup plan.
We're here for you, 24/7—even on Taco Tuesday.
Our teamwork makes the '98 Bulls look like the '97 Bulls.

Integrity Logistics wakes up on the right side of the truck bed.
Integrity Logistics never “gets stuck in traffic.”
Integrity Logistics isn't "circling for parking."

A building with heart. And a bar. *glug, glug, glug*

💀 ⚰️ 🥀